I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
