he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
