You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize