Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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