Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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