Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
