Non-Jews are for practice
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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