I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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