this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize