Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
