don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I looked at my own cervix.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
