Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
