Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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