He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
