just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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