I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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