saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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