her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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