She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't make out with my wife yet
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
