If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
