you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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