please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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