I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
