the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
