Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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