I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I understand Curling. That high.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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