i just had sex bonerless
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It was a blind-side dick pic.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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