He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
