I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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