I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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