A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
