How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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