i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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