I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
