If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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