umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
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I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
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the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I think your dad took our porno
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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