Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
