Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
