P.S. I can't hear my feet
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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