spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
