He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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