She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
