Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
