I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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