Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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