Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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