there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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