how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ugly people sure do ruin things
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
