No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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