i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
