so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
