ADVERTISEMENT

• (313): View more from Michigan

  So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Honestly.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't say a word.

  Fav 7 1436 782

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

  Fav 14 1487 5731

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.

  Fav 98 1637 22740

  share tweet
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

  Fav 17 3835 1287

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

  Fav 10 1384 2636

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.

  Fav 10 1995 922

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.

  Fav 5 1535 1057

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.

  Fav 4 1340 816

  share tweet
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.

  Fav 5 1541 645

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.

  Fav 4 798 707

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.

  Fav 4 1456 676

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (207): View more from Maine

  Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went

  Fav 0 733 461

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!

  Fav 6 1194 458

  share tweet
  

• (207): View more from Maine

  Testing the emergency boobs hotline

  Fav 2 283 117

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (936): View more from Texas

  I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.

  Fav 1 94 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize