so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
