i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
