508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...