I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
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sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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