i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wish i was in the wii world.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
