It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
