Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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