This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize