when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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