happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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