Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She said her name was "party"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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