Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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