She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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