Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
