I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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