You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.