I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
