Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare