Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

we're chasing vodka with high fives

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.

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(210): View more from Texas

she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.

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(716): View more from New York

nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.

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(406): View more from Montana

I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.

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