Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
